Picking Up Where We Left Off
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: After not seeing each other for nearly five years how will Lucas and Peyton interact? Especially when one of them is engaged. Yea, summaries are not my thing lol...read and review. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing.

Okay so this came to mind…no real reason for it. When I saw the first part of the preview for the finale I just thought of this. Let me know what you think.

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"_I'm gunna love you forever Lucas Scott"_

Not exactly something I would say. At least the old me wouldn't have said it. Well, technically it was the old, old me. Yeah, that's about right; the two me's ago. I know this sounds completely insane but hopefully it won't after I explain.

You see, that was the me pre-Lucas Scott. Before that boy entered my life I was broody, bitchy, blonde, Peyton Sawyer. Closed off to the world. In an essentially dead end relationship. Afraid to let anyone else really get inside my head. Inside my heart. The only person who really was inside was my best friend Brooke, but we'll talk about her later. Back to Lucas…that blue eyed, blonde haired boy did something that not even my best friend could do, he broke down my walls. He could glance in my direction and read me. Know all my little secrets. My worries and fears. He would know that the me everyone saw, wasn't the real me. That brings us to Peyton Sawyer the second.

The me during Lucas Scott was a completely different person. And I'm not counting the whole triangle me because a) that wasn't my best moment b) it's something that I still don't really discuss and c) we weren't technically together. That me cost me a friendship. The girl who spoke those words was an eighteen year old blissful Peyton Sawyer. When we got together near the end of our senior year that was by far the most open me I've ever been. I told him I loved him, often. And he said it back. I was happy. Truthfully happy for what seemed like the first time since my mom was alive. It was amazing and I cherished every moment. But like the old saying goes…all good things must come to an end.

That brings us full circle to the current me. The twenty five year old. The Peyton Sawyer after Lucas Scott. We dated for about three years. All the way through to the middle of our junior year in college. We were in two different states. Thousands of miles apart. He was in Tree Hill and I was in L.A. Long distance was always something I was skeptical about. I didn't think that two people could last as a couple if they didn't see each other all the time. If they couldn't walk down the block and tell the person they loved them. They couldn't kiss them. Or hold their hand. But he made me do and feel things that I never would have thought of, hence the long distance.

I'm not too sure what our downfall was. Things were hectic for both of us. We ended up yelling at each other more then we would actually talk. Visits had stopped all together and 'I love you's' were further and further apart. Eventually, we broke up. I can honestly say it was one of the top five hardest things I've ever had to do.

A week after that, I got a call from Jive Records in New York. I had applied there for an internship a few months back. Lucas and I were going to spend the summer before our senior year in New York. He had an internship with the New York Times. It had been my dream ever since I filled out the application. I was also hesitant; Lucas was supposed to be in New York that summer too. I knew that the city was a huge place and I didn't even know if he had gotten his internship but I did know that fate always had a way of intervening.

After another week and some serious convincing from my roommate I called Jive and told them I would take it. I also decided that I was going to move to New York. I needed a change. My roommate of course was less then thrilled. We had been each other's rock for a long time and now we were actually going to be without the other. I remember leaving. That was like the fourth hardest I've ever cried.

As summer approached I was more then ready for my new life. I had been in New York for a month already and loved it. I was having my credits transferred to NYU so I would be able to complete my senior year. Jive Records was really helping me learn the industry. I met great people and had great experiences. My old roommate and I talked often and I called Nathan and Haley whenever I could. The only person I had lost touch with was Lucas. And I wasn't on purpose, I brought his number out to New York but by the time I worked up the nerve to call him the number was disconnected. I figured he was somewhere in New York.

That was disproved a few days after I tried to call him. My roommate called and told me to sit down; she had something to tell me. I braced myself and took a deep breath. Then she spit it all out. She and Lucas were dating. They had been since I left for New York. He apparently came to visit me with yellow roses and all. She answered the door with tears streaming down her face because her boyfriend had broken up with her, which I knew. She assured me that they never intended for it to happen. She was lonely from her sudden split and he was lonely from our breakup. She also enlightened me with the fact that they were living together. It all hit me like a ton of bricks. After being broken up for a month. Four weeks, he had moved on. I literally thought someone had it me with a baseball bat. The line was silent for a while and then I told her that it was okay. If they were happy I was happy. I had reverted to Peyton Sawyer the first.

After that we didn't talk as often. My calls were reserved for holidays and birthdays. He never answered the phone. He must have known as well as I did that it would have been too hard. He was with someone who was there for me after our breakup. The nights I tried to silently cry myself to sleep but failed miserably. When I would find a random picture or sketch. She was there. I also shouldn't have been surprised. They had a history. I suppose it was inevitable that he bounced back to her. It was always either she or I.

Nathan and Haley became my rock. They visited that summer with their son James and the surprise that she was pregnant again; six months along. I admired them. They had stayed together through the rough times. Distance had taken its toll on them in junior year when she went on tour but they recovered and look at where they are now. It was also agreed that there would be no talk of the new couple.

I relived all of these thoughts as I drove through my hometown. This was a place that I had left at eighteen and didn't intend on returning to. I had virtually nothing here. My father passed away in my sophomore year of college; of course I had Lucas there with me. It was after classes were over so he spent the entire summer with me in L.A. I was and will be forever grateful to him for it. So, even though I knew this trip would be difficult I knew I had to do it. Whitey was a man who was like a grandfather to me. He gave advice and would tell me stories about my mother Anna. He was the force guiding me through the streets I had grown up on. I thought about stopping to get changed or to even nap but decided against it. A good cup of coffee from Karen's Café sounded like the perfect start. I knew I would face 'the boy' eventually but I hoped that he wouldn't be coming down until tomorrow. That was my whole purpose of driving up a day early.

As I stepped out of my car the cool November breeze made me pull my worn leather jacket tighter around my waist. The sound of the bell chiming caused the café to stop. Apparently everyone from my past had the idea of coming up a day early. I heard my godson Matthew; Haley and Nathan's second son, running towards me. I heard the sound of a plate hitting the floor and someone whisper "Peyton Sawyer". All these things registered in my brain but my eyes stayed focused. The blue eyes that I hadn't seen in four and a half years were staring back at me. As a hand went to lovingly caress his face, the sparkle on it caused me to close my eyes. That's when the realization hit me.

_I was going to love Lucas Scott forever._

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let me know if I should continue... 


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing--Thanks soo much for the reviews. I'm updating so soon because of your reviews…

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That's right I am going to love Lucas Scott forever. I wish I could say that this was a sudden epiphany but that would be a lie. I guess I've always loved Lucas. It would come in small doses though. I would find an old picture in the bottom of a drawer in my apartment. Or come across one of my sketch books from college. Or when I found my high school yearbook. That was a bad day. So basically I'm saying that yes I'm still in love with Lucas. Now I need to get the hell out of here.

By the time brain caught up with my eyes Lucas was walking towards me. I went into overdrive. My mind was screaming a million and one different things. But my legs, my damn legs weren't going anywhere. I felt myself beginning to hyperventilate and knew I needed to get out of here. Thankfully a strong arm gently and forcefully pulled me out of the café and around to the alley way.

I leaned up against the wall. My hands on my knees. Deep breaths were what I needed. Finally I began to calm down. I felt my heartbeat return to normal and I was less dizzy then before. I looked up to find my savior. Leaning against the opposite wall, arms folded across his chest. He was wearing that smirk that I found endearing ten years ago.

"Hey Sawyer", he said coolly.

"Engaged", I yelled angrily. I couldn't believe it.

"Peyton…" he began but I cut him off.

"He's fucking engaged to her", I saw him flinch. I didn't curse often but when I did he knew I meant business.

"We just found out this morning", he tried to reason with me. But he knew better then anyone that there was NO reasoning with an angry Peyton Sawyer.

"Still, I quick phone call to say hey he's engaged now, would have sufficed", I saw him look down. I knew I had made him feel bad but I couldn't console him now.

"God", I yelled to nobody in particular. "It was bad enough that they were dating but now he's going to marry her", my voice cracked as I said the last few words. He came over and wrapped me up in a hug.

"I know Sawyer", he whispered soothingly.

"Its not fair Nate", my voice croaked out.

Nathan Scott had become my best friend. My brother, well second brother. He was pretty much the only person I confided in. I talked to Haley of course but Nathan was different. He knew me inside and out. He also knew my lingering feels for the aforementioned blonde.

Sure Nathan and I had been together and had sex but that was in the past. That was the me pre-Lucas and that was the him pre-Haley. They only difference was that he and Haley had made it through. Lucas and I obviously didn't.

"You okay", he asked with concern in his voice. We had been outside for about five minutes. Every time I nodded I made it about four steps before my throat began to close and my eyes burned. It sucked. This time though, I pushed on.

"Yea", my voice was hoarse.

"Let's go", he said supportively. He placed his arm around my shoulder. I smirked. He knew me too well. If he had let me go alone I would have more then likely made a mad dash for my car.

Walking inside the café was like stepping into a time machine. I hadn't really looked before for obvious reasons. But seeing it now almost brought a smile to my face. I had spent a better part of my life in this very café, before I even knew who Lucas Scott was. I also couldn't help but notice that it was empty compared to before. I felt my cheeks redden. I couldn't help but feel that it had been cleared out because of my semi-breakdown.

"Hey girly", Haley broke me from my thoughts. Always one for trying to break the ice she walked toward me with a smile on her face and open arms.

"Hey Hales", I said as I gave her a sincere smile. She held me back at arms length and smiled again.

"How have you been", she asked hesitantly.

"I've been better. But I've also been worse", I joked. She was about to say something else until a voice cut her off.

"Peyton Sawyer", the older voice seemed to ask. I turned to face the one and only Karen Roe.

"Hey Karen", I said shyly as I walked towards her.

"Well I'll be", she joked as we embraced.

Karen Roe was like a third mother to me. She gave me advice even when I never asked for it. One of the things that hurt most when Lucas and I broke up was losing Karen also. I had kept in touch as best I could but it got to a point where hearing her voice reminded me about Lucas. It was something I couldn't do. Seeing her warm smile now makes me regret ever having that feeling.

"It's good to see you", I said sincerely.

"You too, even though the circumstances are less then favorable", I nodded sadly. I felt horrible that it had taken the passing of a loved one to bring me back here. After a few minutes of small talk I felt like I was pushing my luck.

I faked a yawn and stretched my arms over my head. "Guys I'm really tired", I said slowly. I let my eyes droop a little for an added effect. I ignored the disbelieving stare Nathan was giving me.

Karen stood up with me. "Okay, well come by tomorrow. Mostly everyone will be here after the service", she said as she pulled me into a hug.

"Okay", I said as I held her tightly. I really had missed her these past few years.

"Don't worry about the next few days", she whispered before we broke apart.

Okay was I really that transparent? I mean I know the whole near breakdown earlier might have been a give away but I thought I played that off well. I had been all smiles since I walked back in with Nathan. Sure I had done a quick survey of the area but it was slick, one swift motion. At least I thought it was. Note to self: I am definitely not as slick as I think I am.

Haley was next to approach me. She wore her all too knowing smile. It was obvious that she and Nathan had done more then simply get the drinks when they went in the back earlier.

"After you take your nap, come over. Its way too early and Nathan can watch the boys while we talk", we both laughed when we heard Nathan groan in annoyance.

"Nathan, they're your children", I said as I laughed.

"I don't care about that", he said honestly, "it's having to listen to you two squawk like chickens that I don't wanna deal with", he finished with a smirk.

"Funny Scott", I said as I punched him playfully. He gripped his arm in pain.

"Gees Sawyer", he said dramatically, "you've been working out", he laughed as I blushed. Thankfully my sort of nephews came to my defense.

"Dad leave Aunt Peyton alone", James spoke up. I looked down at him appreciatively. Seven years old and already the protector. Just like his father, dark hair, deep blue eyes, and in junior leagues. Yes, for basketball.

"Yea dad", Matthew followed his brother. He was just like Haley. Light brown hair, crazy personality, and loved to sing. The only thing that proved he was Nathan's was his eyes and his love of basketball. My godson was a little boy that I was very proud of. I sat down and folded my arms over my chest.

I stuck my tongue out at Nathan triumphantly. "I think you just got served", I sang out. My own laughter was something I hadn't heard in a while. I looked around the room at the people I loved. I smiled again when Matthew climbed onto my lap.

"We sure told him Aunt Peyt", I smiled at his first words and then when that one word came from his mouth I held my breath. _Peyt_. Nobody called me that anymore. Not since Lucas and I broke up. That was his name for me. I'm sure it sounds juvenile but that's just the way things went. He must have noticed the change in the room because he looked up at me with big doe eyes.

"Did I say something wrong", he asked as his lip quivered. I quickly recovered from my shock and hugged him tightly.

"No, not at all. I just haven't been called Peyt in a while", I smiled sadly at the four year old. He nodded understandingly before jumping down and walking to his play table. The three adults looked at me.

"You okay", Nathan asked timidly. I looked down before I put a smile on my face.

"I'm fine", I said. I was shocked at how sincere those words sounded. I stood up again and began to walk to the door.

"Come over later", Nathan more a less demanded. I nodded without turning back. I was nearing the home stretch. All I had to do was open that door and I was safe for the night. The sound of the bell was like music to my ears. Until an all too familiar voice cut through that.

"P. Sawyer"

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Okay…I hope I did a good job with the second chapter, after all the feedback from the first I was nervous about this lol…don't forget about Coming Home—my other fic—keep reviewing cause chapter 9 is done and ready to post…also the last chapter for So Long, So Long is in progress I know its been a while lol…okay soo let me know what you think of this chapter. 


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.

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I winced inwardly at the voice that had blocked me from my freedom. I closed my eyes and sighed before I turned around. There she stood. One of the people from my past that I definitely did not want to see. Not today anyway. I did what I do best; I put on my fakest smile and walked forward.

"Hey Brooke", I said as I approached her.

Brooke Davis. That in and of itself is all the description you need. But I will elaborate for you. You obviously know the past that she and I have. Best friends since we were eight; destined to withstand the test of time. Until he came between us. The one boy that we both loved. I'm not sure her feelings were truly there but that's probably me being bitter.

"How've you been", she asked. I took in her appearance before I answered. I hadn't seen her since I left for New York four and half years ago. She looked the same though. She also seemed to be hiding her ring.

Oh I never mentioned that did I? The roommate from college, yea it was Brooke. But she and I made it all work. I had Lucas and she knew he and I were happy. Her and Chase were still going strong too. Then it all blew up in our faces. Well it blew up in mine anyway.

"Great" I told her truthfully. My life was great back in New York. It was being here that sucked.

"How are you", I finally took the step. She smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I've been great too", she said. I couldn't figure out why she was holding back.

We all know Brooke Davis does not hold back. But I wasn't complaining. If I could get out of here without having to act a) completely surprised and b) happy for her it would be a good day.

She smiled at me unsurely before she opened her arms and slightly shrugged her shoulders. I smiled at her gesture. Brooke was my best friend. Once upon a time, we were inseparable. Even in college, we did everything together. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her. I smiled at the familiarity of it. As we pulled away it happened. Her damn ring got stuck in my hair.

"Ow", I said as we broke apart.

"Oh God I'm sorry", she said sincerely. I don't even know how it happened, my hairs not that long. I guess that's fate for you. The one scene that popped into mind was Lucas and I in the hotel room. We were so close and then the necklace Brooke gave him got stuck in my hair. Good ole' fate.

I could imagine the look on everyone's faces. What a way for the ex-girlfriend that still loves the boy that got away, to come face to face with the fiancée. The fact that it was Brooke and I was even better. I decided to be the bigger person. Like so many times in my life.

"Wow, who's the lucky guy", I faked my enthusiasm. I hadn't talked to her in two years so I was pretending that I didn't even know she and Lucas were still together. I braced myself for the answer. It was like time stopped.

She took a deep breath and I swear I saw her face fall just a bit. She knew the moment we were having was about to be ruined.

"Lucas", she said. I felt the wind get knocked out of me.

"Really. Wow. Congratulations", she smiled appreciatively at me and nodded.

"Thanks", I could here the sincerity in her voice and it shocked me.

I guess because they got together right after he and I broke up I assumed she was the devil. But suddenly I felt myself feeling less angry towards Brooke and more and more anger for Lucas. Brooke was someone who didn't fair well on her own. Yea, in high school she had her few months of independence but then she and Chase went out and she became dependent all over again. Lucas knew that better then anyone.

"So, when's the date", I asked. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop myself.

"We haven't set one yet", she said. The way she said it made me furrow my brows. Her tone was different. It was like she was trying to tell me something without actually telling me something.

"Oh, well is the man of the hour here", I joked. I thanked God when she shook her head.

"I forgot my purse in the back so I had to come and get it", she explained and I nodded. We stood like that for a few moments just taking each other in. Finally I broke the eerie silence.

"Well, I should get going", I pointed to the door. She nodded. We hugged again and were both smiling when we broke apart.

"I'll see you tomorrow", she basically told me.

"Yea, I missed you B. Davis", I blurted out. I had truly missed her but I didn't want her to know that.

She smiled sadly. "I missed you too P. Sawyer", we both knew that we had to talk but that would come later. Today was a time to simply feel normal again.

I walked into my childhood home and felt my breath get caught in my throat. This was where my father was right before he had his heart attack. I imagined him sitting on the couch watching a season of MASH. Yes, my dad loved that show. He could sit for hours and watch every episode fifty times.

When I walked into the kitchen I could almost smell the pizza. The thought of bologna, pineapple, ham, pickles, anything really, was making my mouth water. I made a mental note to go to the store after Nathan and Haley's.

Finally I reached my bedroom. The door creaking was the only thing that registered. My room was exactly the same. Deep red walls, sketches everywhere, the comforter set, even some of my records were still there. I knew there were memories in this room but right now I wasn't going to deal with them. I needed to sleep. I got into bed and laid down hoping to feel my eyes droop. After tossing and turning for nearly twenty minutes I got up and walked down the hall.

My father's room had stayed the same also. However, you could tell he was here more recently then I was. His bed was unmade. A sock was on the floor. His favorite cologne was left on his dresser with the top off.

I walked over to his bed and gently lay down. It was like I didn't want to disrupt the feeling that was in here. I turned my head and saw the framed pictures he had. One was of my mother and him on their wedding day. It was my favorite picture of both of them. They looked incredibly happy and carefree. Another was of the three of us; I think I was about four. We were out in the backyard and I was on my father's back, he had his arm protectively around my mother's waist. There was another of my mother and father in front of his dredging boat; I was cradled in her arms.

I took a deep breath and smelled his cologne on his pillow. When I was younger I couldn't stand the smell. After I found out that he continued to use it because it was my mother's favorite I suddenly didn't mind. And no I didn't just start to like it simply because she had. It just smelled different to me.

As I nestled further into my father's bedding I felt that all too familiar burn. I didn't have a chance to try and stop it. It was like the flood gates opened and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. And I mean the real kind of sobs. My chest was heaving up and down, my nose was running, I couldn't catch my breath. After fifteen minutes of this I finally got to sleep.

Nathan and Haley had moved out of the beach house after high school. When the fact that Dan had killed Keith came to light, Nathan wanted nothing to do with him. So here I was standing in front of a large oak door praying my makeup had done its job. I woke up and my eyes were puffy and not slightly puffy but the kind of puffy that happens when you eat something you're highly allergic to.

"Sawyer", Nathan broke me from my thoughts.

"Hey Nate", he pulled me into his body for a hug. As we broke apart he looked at my face and raised a brow. I guess I need to buy better makeup. But the good friend that Nathan is, he didn't question it. He simply ushered me inside the house. I greeted my nephews and then turned into the kitchen to find Haley.

"Are they happy", I asked quietly. We had been sitting at the kitchen table for about three hours and nobody had been brave enough to bring up this topic.

Haley nodded slowly. "I mean they have their days like every couple does but for the most part, I think they really are", she chose each word carefully. I nodded my head.

"Well, good for them", I said sincerely. You know that saying…the one that's like if you can't have the one you love you want them to be happy. Okay maybe it's not a saying exactly, but you get the point.

"Why haven't they set a date", I asked curiously. It was a known fact that Brooke Davis loved a wedding. I was shocked that she hadn't even started to plan for her own.

"How's Michael", Nathan changed the topic. I blushed instantly.

Okay so I apologize, I've been withholding information. I guess with recent events I've made myself sound like a lonely twenty five year old that lives in a dark apartment with fifteen cats. That's really not the case at all.

Boys were something I swore off for a while after the whole breakup. I just needed some time for myself. When I started at Jive I met Michael Farrell. He was interning for the summer also. We hit it off immediately, he was funny and charming and really sweet. But I couldn't go there with a guy yet. He understood and told me that when I was ready he wanted to be the first to know.

After a year our friendship was pretty solid. We hung out all the time and flirted like crazy. I found myself hoping he would ask me out, like honestly hoping for it. I felt like a teenager all over again. Finally he did.

But that didn't happen for another year. Yes, that's right, two years. I had other chances of dates but I knew I was holding out for a good one. We went to a little Italian restaurant and then walked along—hand in hand—Chelsea Pier, it was wonderful, and it completely reinstated my faith in men.

"He's great" I said dreamily.

Then a sudden wave of guilt came flooding at me. I had an amazing guy back at home who I love and here I was feeling whatever I was feeling for my ex-boyfriend, someone who ripped my heart out. I'm going to chalk it up to simply being in an old atmosphere. Familiar settings, familiar people, familiar feelings. Right?

"You know, Thanksgiving is like a few days away. Why don't you stay and celebrate it with all of us", Haley asked. I considered it. I missed all these people insanely. I would also be around Lucas but it would be good for me. If I could have an actual conversation with him then I would be great. This would be my test period.

"Michael should come down too", Nathan said. He must have taken my silence as a NO.

"He can't, he wanted to come for these two days but he's on call", I said matter-of-factly.

Yes, on call. He's a doctor. Peyton Sawyer got herself a doctor. He is also two years older. He was only interning at Jive for that one summer. He loved music and he loved trying new things. The summer after that while I was back at Jive he was over at Rolling Stone Magazine.

"Oh well, you should stay anyway", Haley insisted, "maybe you and Luke can work on a friendship", she teased. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll stay", I said acting as if she was forcing me. In reality I was glad to be staying.

"But only for a week", I told them both sternly. Yes I was glad to stay but a week seemed sufficient. We all talked for another two hours before I knew it was time to head home.

I had called Michael when I got home but our answering machine picked up, yes we live together, I told him I missed him and I was going to be staying in Tree Hill for the week, I loved him and would call again tomorrow.

Every thought possible entered my mind as I lay in bed. Brooke and our lost friendship. Michael and our truly wonderful relationship. Lucas and Brooke's apparent wonderful relationship. The fact that Nathan changed the topic so quickly when I asked about their wedding. And the one prominent thought that I couldn't shake was eating away at me the most.

I had no interaction with Lucas Scott today. Tomorrow I wouldn't be so lucky.

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Okay I know its taking a while but Leyton will talk within the next few chapters, I'm not sure how much though. I'm going to try and paint Brooke in a good light because it's not my intention to have people hate her; I actually really like her character lol. And I was going to have Peyton be single but I got a review from **abbyfan **and it made me want Peyton to not look so lonely lol…soo thanks for the review **abbyfan** and I hope I incorporated the news of her boyfriend well. Leave some reviews and let me know. 


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.

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The Church was packed. And when I say packed I mean that people who came two seconds late had no choice but to stand. Luckily Nathan, Haley, and I got here early. We were near the front. Almost everyone had spoken about Whitey. The man he was and how they were better for knowing him. Nathan had just finished his speech; I was trying to dry my eyes when I noticed a certain blonde step up. I knew I needed to save my tissues.

He cleared his throat before he spoke. His shoulders were stiff and you could tell he looked uneasy to be up there. Lucas may have been a writer but he wasn't a public speaker. Never lifting his head we all heard him speak.

"Brian Durham was a man of many talents. He could devise a basketball play in a matter of seconds. He had some of the best stories I've ever heard. And he gave truthful, helpful advice. He was also pretty eloquent when he wanted to be.

Many Tree Hill High students remember the Basketball Banquet. Hopefully you remember Whitey's speech. Camilla was a woman that he forever loved, come rain or shine, he was devoted to her. Even after she passed, there was never a woman that he even glanced at. Some people might have called him crazy or maybe even pathetic but I admired him."

Lucas finally looked up from the podium and scanned the large crowd. When our eyes connected the only thing I could do was smile. I was grateful when his shoulders relaxed and he smiled back.

"He had found the love of his life and then he lost her. He knew that another woman couldn't compare so he wasn't going to risk putting her through heartache"

The entire time he talked our eyes stayed locked.

"I also admired him because he knew it was his time to step away from the game he loved so much. Basketball gave him the fulfillment he always looked for, it also gave him the sons he always wanted. Many of us are better men because of his teachings, I'm one of them. I know we will all miss him and think about him often. But I can honestly say that he won't regret a moment of not being here because he's with his one true love"

As Lucas finished his speech I saw him nonchalantly shake a shiver. I did the same.

The café was nearly as crowded as the Church. When Karen said a few people were going to be here I foolishly thought she meant a few people. I was doing my part to help out the best I could. Bringing out more trays of finger foods and refilling drinks for everyone. I wasn't exactly a professional but I was managing.

"Service sucks", I heard someone say. Now it may have been a reception for a funeral but I wasn't above hitting someone.

"Yea well how about–" I stopped mid sentence as I turned to face the person behind the rude comment.

"Chase", I yelled as I hugged him tightly.

Okay I know. Chase? That's a curveball. But he and Brooke dated nearly the whole time Lucas and I did, so we did everything together. He became one of our best friends, and gladly so.

"How are you doing", he asked as we broke apart.

"Pretty good", I said. After learning of our ex's hookup Chase and I bonded even more. In the first few months we would talk on the phone or he would even visit and we would take turns bashing them. Mature, I know.

"What about you? I saw the X-Games. Mr. Gold Medal", I teased as I nudged him playfully. He blushed.

"Yea well you know", he shrugged indifferently.

"Don't be modest", I embarrassed him further.

"Alright enough about me", he held up his hands to stop me, "What about you Ms. I have my own record label and just got Dashboard Confessional to sign over", it was my turn to blush.

"How did you know about that", I hissed. It was no secret that I had my own record label. Jive had taught me many things. But I tried to keep who I signed to myself.

"I have my ways", he said coyly.

"Well keep those ways to yourself, nobody here has brought it up and I would like to keep it that way", I threatened. We both laughed and he hugged me again.

"So, have you seen them yet?" he asked quietly.

"I saw Brooke yesterday, we had a little conversation and then today I saw Lucas but he was on stage giving a eulogy so I don't know if that really counts", I drifted off actually pondering that thought.

"You haven't seen them here", he asked with a raised brow. I shook my head.

"This place is packed and I've been helping out with what I can. Talking to you is the only time I've actually stayed still", I joked.

"And the girlfriend of the son who's mother owns this place isn't helping", he snickered. I held my breath.

"Fiancée", I told him gently. I watched as his face dropped but he quickly recovered.

He had been the one to break up with Brooke. It wasn't because of infidelity and it wasn't that he didn't love her. She simply had too many secrets. The one that actually caused the break up happened over a game of 21 questions. The power had gone out and they had nothing better to do; they were also incredibly drunk. Somehow the word abortion came up and the woman from the other couple they were with said she could never have could never have one, Brooke said she could never have _another_ one.

She was fourteen. We had basically just entered high school and the Brooke Davis party girl was showing up every weekend. She never told me the full details but I got the gist of it. Her sexual experience that resulted in the pregnancy was a less then favorable one. She couldn't handle a child at that age and she couldn't handle a child that reminded her of that night. I only found out about the abortion after she had gone through with it.

Needless to say she and Chase excused themselves and closed the door to her bedroom. She didn't think something like that would ever come up. She didn't think it was something he would need to know right now. But it did come up and apparently it was something that he needed to know.

"Engaged. Wow", the way he said it made me flash back to yesterday.

"Yea", I said as I put my hand on his forearm. He smiled appreciatively.

"How's Mike", he asked hoping to change the topic.

"Great", I said happily. I also felt bad. I knew that Chase thought of Brooke often. I also knew that he still loved her. He was also single.

"Listen, I'm going make some rounds. Maybe I'll talk to Brooke", he said with a smile.

"You should", I assured him. With one last hug I watched as he approached her. They both stood there, like two deer in headlights until finally they hugged. It was almost heartbreaking to watch.

I was so lost in my thought I didn't hear someone come up behind me.

"Where's your head at?" the all too familiar voice asked.

"Jake Jagielski", I grinned. He picked my up and held me tightly.

Jake and I lost each other in senior year after my visit. It wasn't until after Lucas and I broke up that I heard from him. Good old big mouth Nathan. He told me he simply wanted to be my shoulder to lean on. I had forgotten what a great friend he was.

"Where's Jenny", I asked as soon as he put my down.

"I've been good, thanks for asking", he responded sarcastically.

"Yea, yea…where is she", I asked again as I looked behind him.

"She's coming. Nikki had to fix her hair", he said exasperatedly.

I know. Jake and Nikki. Truth be told when he said they were going to give it another shot I wanted to jump through the phone and smack some sense into him. He assured me that she had changed. She wasn't the same Nikki we knew from high school. I scoffed and told him I'd believe it when I saw it.

I opened the door one summer day and there they stood. Sure enough she was a completely different person. She didn't drink, didn't smoke, she was suddenly domesticated. She cooked, cleaned, and had a steady job. Most importantly she was a great mother to Jenny. When they were leaving I told Jake that he was right, she was a changed woman. And not that he needed it but he had my stamp of approval. Two weeks later they both called and told me they were engaged. That was two years ago.

The little girl running up to me broke my train of thoughts.

"Peyton", she yelled.

"Jenny girl", I smiled brightly as she threw her arms around my neck.

"Hey Peyton", Nikki said as she kissed Jake. My eyes flew to her stomach.

"Oh my God", I said as I put Jenny down and walked over to her. She and Jake smiled brightly.

"Congratulations", I couldn't believe it. They were having a baby. "How far along", I asked.

"About five months", she said as she placed her hand over her slight bump. I hugged her and said my congratulations again. After a few more minutes of small talk and the mention of the elephant in the room I told them I had to get back to working.

People continued to flow in and out of the café. Talking about Whitey or simply catching up with one another. As it neared nighttime most of them had left. The room was filled with its usual crowd; me, Haley, Nathan, Chase, Karen, Deb, Brooke, and Lucas. I sighed as I tossed the dishtowel behind the counter.

For a moment my eyes met Brooke's and she called me over. Thankfully Lucas was sitting at the counter with Nathan and Chase. I sat on the opposite side and waited for her to talk.

"So, today was pretty hard huh", she asked quietly. She knew how important Whitey was to me.

"Yea, but I managed", I said with a brave face.

"You always do", she said sincerely.

"What have you been up to Brooke Davis?" I asked as I got comfortable. My heels had long since been discarded.

"Great things", she smiled, "Clothes over Bros has really taken off. We're even opening one in New York", she pointed out.

"I know. I passed the store the other day. I knew that your work had made it but seeing it in person, I was proud of you", I told her. I honestly was; she had made something for herself.

"What about you; A & L Records.", she grinned. A stood for my mother Anna and L was for my father Larry.

"And Dashboard Confessional, that's really great", I was already thinking of ways to kill Chase when she said, "Lucas got their C.D. the other day and pointed it out." I smiled. I didn't think Lucas even thought about me anymore.

"I guess we've both done pretty well", I spoke as I nodded to Lucas. I watched as she looked in the direction of the countertop, she smiled shortly. I couldn't tell if she was looking at Lucas or Chase.

"Yea", she said quietly. I couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking 'what if'.

"What about you", she asked suddenly. I noticed Lucas get up and walk in our direction.

"What about me", I mimicked.

"No special guy?" she asked with her famous Brooke Davis eyebrow kink. He was now at our table, sitting in the chair in a way so that he was balancing on two legs. I tucked a curl behind my ear before I spoke.

"Umm, well actually…"

The bell chiming caused everyone to face the door. It was in this instant that something happened that could only happen in Tree Hill.

"Michael"

* * *

Okay…I know still not a lot of Leyton, next chapter for sure…and I know Breyton might seem idk but they were best friends and stuff so, plus eventually they might have at it lol 


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.

* * *

"Michael", I yelled disbelievingly. 

"Hey babe", he said affectionately.

It took me all of ten seconds to get up from my chair and jump into his arms.

"I missed you", I whispered.

"I missed you too", he whispered back as his held me tighter. Our moment was ruined when we heard a loud crash.

Lucas Scott lay on the floor. The chair was about a foot away. He quickly shot back up and announced that he was fine, no harm done. That didn't stop the rest of the café from laughing like a bunch of second graders.

"What are you doing here", I asked with confusion in my voice.

"I got your message and I couldn't imagine spending the holiday anywhere else", the look of love was prominent in his eyes.

"But Thanksgiving isn't for another few days", I smirked.

"Well, I was also reminded by someone", he said while looking at Nathan", that today was going to be pretty hard for you. I got Andrew to cover my shifts, I owe him big time but it's worth it", he said quietly as he leaned down to kiss me tenderly.

"Come meet everyone", I said excitedly as I took his hand and led him to the counter.

The cool air sent a chill up my back but I didn't mind. It was refreshing, easing in a way. I smiled as I thought of everyone's reaction to Michael. Karen absolutely loved him. Deb said he was charming. Nathan and Haley already knew him, and both approved. He and Chase were still talking when I left. The only people who hadn't said anything were Lucas and Brooke.

I felt someone drape their suit jacket over my shoulders. I slipped my arms in and turned around.

"Micha–"

"Hey Blondie", the quite and familiar voice cut me off.

"Hey", I said in the same tone he did. We stood like that for what seemed like an eternity.

"Come here", he said as he opened his arms. I agreed without a second thought.

Have I mentioned that I love Lucas Scott hugs. He seems to envelop your entire body and truly hold on. This hug was no different. One arm was around my waist and he cupped the back of my neck with his hand. I took in a deep breath and released it slowly.

"God I missed you", he said so quietly I wouldn't have heard it if we weren't so close. My grip on him tightened just a little.

"How's your butt", I teased as we broke apart. Even in the darkness I could see him blush.

"Its fine", he muttered. His hands were shoved in his pockets, a telltale sign of nervousness.

"I really liked your speech about Whitey. Everything you said about him was really endearing", I said sincerely.

Always the modest one he waved me off. "Whitey gave me all the inspiration I needed."

"Well, he would be proud", I said as I rubbed his arm. I saw him look me up and down. It wasn't in a grotesque or distasteful way. He just genuinely took in my appearance.

"You look great", he said with that well known Scott smirk.

"Thanks", I said as I felt my cheeks burn, "you do too", I said even though it was dark I could tell he had grown in the past four years.

"So…it's been a while", he said uneasily. I nodded.

"Four and a half years", I said bitterly; I hoped he couldn't define the sadness that took precedence.

He sighed. "Peyton I–"

"Congratulations", I said as sincerely as I could. He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Thanks", he whispered as he put his head down.

I looked through the window and locked eyes with Michael. I smiled broadly.

"He seems like a good guy", Lucas said. I could have sworn it was in envy but that could have been my hopeful side.

"He is", I said simply as I smiled. I sent a small wave in his direction as he looked at me again.

I turned my attention back to Lucas and saw the look in his eyes. He wanted to talk.

"Peyton are we ever", he stopped mid thought but he continued to walk closer, "can we-"

"We should get back inside", I cut him off. I took off his suit jacket and handed it over to him, "Thank you for this", with one last look I left him on the patio while I went over to Michael.

The six of us sat around one of the tables. Karen, Deb, and Chase had all taken off long ago. We were currently discussing everything we've missed out on.

"So Lucas", Michael started, "I understand you're a writer", Lucas nodded.

"I actually had my first book published right after high school", this time it was Michael who nodded.

"He's in the middle of writing his second", Brooke added in.

"That's great", I said genuinely. He smiled through a blush.

"What is it you do Michael?" he asked pointedly.

"I'm a doctor", he said. I loved how he could say something like that and not make it sound like he was showing off.

"Must make for long hours", Lucas said while looking at me. I raised my brow.

"It can, but Peyton and I make it work", he said charmingly while leaning over to kiss me sweetly. I ignored Lucas's scoff.

"What are we going to do for Thanksgiving", Haley asked, quickly changing the topic.

"Can't we have it at your house", Brooke asked sweetly. Haley feverishly shook her head.

"We've had it at our house for the past three years", Nathan spoke for her.

"Well, our house isn't done yet", Lucas said with one last glance between Michael and I. I watched jealously as he pulled her chair closer to him.

"Yea, were staying in his old bedroom. It's kinda weird", Brooke said which caused everyone to laugh.

"What about Peyton's place", it was Michael who brought this thought to the table.

Everyone looked at me. I wanted to scream out that there was no way in hell I was having everyone over for the holiday. But with Michael's arm wrapped around my waist and his other hand on my knee, I felt like I could fly.

"Sure", I said brightly.

Haley and Brooke began discussing what they would bring. Nathan sat there in shock. Lucas was simply boring holes into me, which I tried to ignore.

After another ten minutes Michael and I said our goodbyes.

* * *

"_No matter what happens…I will always love you"_

I wrote that in her high school yearbook. I meant it, every single word of it. Then life had different plans, I made mistakes and this is where we are now. She was back and I had yet to utter a single word to her.

It was now or never, she was finally alone. I held my breath as I stood there. She looked exactly the same as she did all those years ago. Ever since Brooke told me they spoke she was all I could think about. Okay that's a lie; she's all I've been thinking about for nearly five years. Today at the mass I was relieved when we locked eyes. It was like the world was at peace.

I saw her shiver and took action without thinking. I slipped my jacket around her shoulders and took a step back.

"Micha–"

"Hey Blondie", it slipped out of my mouth so easily.

"Hey", she said quietly.

We stood like that for what seemed like an eternity.

"Come here", I wanted to hold her, just feel her in my arms again. I was shocked that she agreed without as much as a second thought.

I held onto her for deal life. One arm was around her waist and I cupped the back of her neck with my hand. I knew she loved these types of hugs. I felt her breath in deeply and the release it slowly; her hot breath on my neck.

"God I missed you", I didn't even realize I had said it aloud until I felt her grip on me tighten just a little.

"How's your butt", she teased as we broke apart.

I felt my cheeks burn. It wasn't exactly my proudest moment. I was trying to play it cool. Slide over to the table with my fiancée and ex-girlfriend; act as nonchalantly as possible by sitting with two legs off the ground. Then, he ruined that. I had no idea who this Michael was. Even after he used the word 'babe' I was hoping he was simply a friend. It was after the intimate 'I missed you', that the wind was knocked out of me.

"Its fine", I muttered. My hands were shoved in my pockets; yea I was nervous.

"I really liked your speech about Whitey. Everything you said about him was really endearing", she said sincerely.

I waved her off. "Whitey gave me all the inspiration I needed."

"Well, he would be proud", she said as she rubbed my arm. I felt my arm go numb from her touch. I couldn't help but look her up and down. I wasn't trying to be a pervert. I just genuinely wanted to look at her.

"You look great", I said with what she calls my 'famous Scott smirk' in place.

"Thanks", she said shyly. I saw her cheeks redden, "you do too", she said as she coyly looked at me.

"So…it's been a while", I said uneasily. I knew that wasn't the best thing to say. It was stupid and I instantly regretted it. She nodded.

"Four and a half years", she said.

'Four years and seven months', I mentally corrected her. I could hear the bitterness in her voice. There was something else though too.

I sighed. "Peyton I–"

"Congratulations", she said, straining to sound sincere. I looked at her with sad eyes.

Brooke and I are engaged. Yes, I know I'm a dog. I'm with her best friend again. Actually, they aren't even best friend's anymore, that's my fault too. It was never intended to be anything. I wanted to surprise Peyton, tell her I loved her and wanted a second chance. When Brooke answered the door with tears streaming down her face my heart wrenched. And it literally broke when she told me Peyton had moved to New York.

That night we were lonely and stupid. I left the next morning and returned to my empty apartment in Tree Hill, with all the pictures of she and I still on my shelves and my nightstand. I knew I needed a change. Two weeks later I showed up at the apartment I used to frequent. Brooke and I have been together ever since.

"Thanks", I whispered as I put my head down.

I saw her look through the window and lock eyes with Michael. I watched as she smiled broadly.

"He seems like a good guy", I said. If she was going to be the bigger person I might as well give it a shot, I just hope she didn't hear my tone change.

"He is", she said simply as she smiled. I watched with jealous eyes as she sent him a small, loving wave.

When she looked at me I knew she saw the look in my eyes. We needed to talk.

"Peyton are we ever", I stopped mid thought but I continued to walk closer, "can we-"

"We should get back inside", she cut me off. She took off my suit jacket and handed it over to me, "Thank you for this", with one last look she left me on the patio and walked inside to Michael.

I stayed out there and simply thought. Things could be so different if it wasn't for me. I know Peyton and I would be together, we would be happy. A knocking on the window broke my concentration. It was Brooke waving me inside. I smiled at her and walked inside. If Peyton could move on, so could I.

The six of us sat around one of the tables. Karen, Deb, and Chase had all taken off long ago. We were currently discussing everything we've missed out on.

"So Lucas", Michael started. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "I understand you're a writer", I nodded.

"I actually had my first book published right after high school", I watched as Michael nodded his head.

"He's in the middle of writing his second", Brooke added in as she smiled at me.

"That's great", Peyton said genuinely. I felt myself blush. I couldn't believe that she could still do that. Make my heart soar at the smallest compliment.

"What is it you do Michael?" I asked pointedly.

"I'm a doctor", he said. I felt my blood boil as she looked at him lovingly.

"Must make for long hours", I said while looking at Peyton. I was trying to make a point; I don't know what it was but I was trying. I watched as she raised a brow.

"It can, but Peyton and I make it work", he said smoothly while leaning over to kiss her. I heard myself scoff.

"What are we going to do for Thanksgiving", Haley asked, quickly changing the topic.

"Can't we have it at your house", Brooke asked sweetly. Haley feverishly shook her head.

"We've had it at our house for the past three years", Nathan spoke for her.

"Well, our house isn't done yet", I said with one last glance between Peyton and Michael. His arm was wrapped around her waist and one hand was on her knee. I pulled Brooke's chair closer to mine.

"Yea, were staying in his old bedroom. It's kinda weird", Brooke said which caused everyone to laugh.

"What about Peyton's place", it was Michael who brought this thought to the table.

Everyone looked at her. I could tell that she wanted to scream. There was no way she would want us all over. Well, she wouldn't want me there.

"Sure", she said brightly. I was stunned.

Brooke and Haley began discussing what they would make. Nathan sat there in shock. And I simply bore holes into her. I knew she could tell because she refused to look at me.

As she was leaving ten minutes later, I realized something. With Michael's arm planted firmly around her waist I realized what I had been feeling all night.

_I am always going to love her._

* * *

Okay, I hope I did justice with the Lucas talking part. It's easier to write from a girl's opinion lol. It will pick up from here. There will be a Thanksgiving filled confessions and confrontations. Let me know what you thought of this.


	6. Chapter 6

Please don't hate me. I know it's been forever sine I updated but my summer was crazy. Anyways here is chapter 6 I hope you enjoy. I own nothing.

* * *

Thanksgiving was never one of my favorite holidays. I'm not sure why but it just didn't seem so significant.

None the less here I am this fateful Thursday evening watching as a variety of pots boils. It's a little after five and everyone should be arriving within the hour. Chase, not so politely declined. His exact words were that he would rather have someone rip off his finger nails then spend this festive holiday with our ex's. I can't say that I blame him. Michael went to pick up Karen and Lily.

Lily Scott in many ways was a miracle child. She was the bright light in a very dark world for Karen and Lucas. The spitting image of Keith, it was actually scary. Even her mannerisms had many of us doing a double take. She kept Karen going, never letting her dwell on the fact that the man she was slowly falling for once again, had killed the only man she could ever really love.

"Smells great", I felt myself shiver at the voice.

I had been able to maneuver around town without having to see Lucas again. After that night at the café I was still trying to decide if I was mad as hell or slightly satisfied that he was jealous. Looking at him now I realized it was both.

"Thanks", I said shyly. "Where's Brooke", I asked as I looked past him.

"She burned the apple pie so she's making another one", I looked at him disbelievingly.

"Making?" I asked.

"Okay, so she bought a new one and is heating it in the oven", he said as he held his hands up. We both laughed.

"Nathan and Haley are going to be a little late. They're gunna stop by her parent's house for a little bit", he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Okay. I figured they would", I lied but we needed some other type of interaction.

"Where's Michael", he asked as he pretended to look in the living room. There was no denying the jealousy that was in his voice.

"He went to pick up your mother and sister", I told him.

"How long have you two been together", he asked as he sat at the kitchen table.

"A little over two years", I watched as he clenched his jaw.

"Why", he asked bitterly.

"Excuse me", I asked. Who the hell did he think he was?

"You heard me Peyton. He's not the guy for you. He's a doctor, he works late and I'm sure you hardly see each other. You need someone who can be there for you when you need them the most", with every word he took a step closer.

I scoffed. "And who is the guy for me Lucas", I mocked him.

"You", I spat out incredulously.

I watched as his eyes got a certain glimmer. This was not happening. Not now. He was not honestly going to try and convince me of this now.

"I'm not saying that", he spoke unconvincingly.

"Then what are you saying", I pleaded.

"Does he make you feel like your floating? Can he read you with a simply glance? Do his kisses make you feel completely numb in a good way? Does he make you feel any of the things you felt when you were with me?" he was shouting at me now.

I honestly couldn't believe this was happening.

"Okay, we're not doing this right now", I said as I shook my head, "We're not doing this ever", I said defiantly.

"Then when would you like to do it", he asked rhetorically. "After I'm married. When one of us has kids", he was being plain rude now.

"Never", I enunciated slowly for him.

"Just answer the question Peyton", he demanded through gritted teeth.

"NO okay. No he doesn't make me feel any of those things. He can't do any of those things", I felt my eyes being to burn.

"Then why are you with him", he asked softly.

"Because he never broke my heart. Because he never dated my best friend. Because he's not engaged to her now", I screamed across the kitchen. My chest was pounding and I could feel the adrenaline through my veins.

We both stared at each other. Not daring to break eye contact. I watched as he walked slowly towards me. Each step more hesitant then the next.

"I'm sorry", he croaked out as he cupped my face.

"Sorry doesn't cut it Lucas", I said as hot tears escaped my eyes. He wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs, his eye still refusing to leave mine.

"I love you", he whispered as his face lowered to mine. I felt my heart leap. I closed my eyes and felt his hot breath nearing my lips. It was in this instant that reality set in.

"No", I said as I forcefully pushed him away. "No you don't Lucas. You love Brooke. You're engaged to Brooke", I said painfully.

"But I love you", he said sincerely.

"No. You have these feelings because I'm around and we're around our old atmosphere. Old feelings are bound to pop up but they don't mean anything Lucas", I tried to convince him. And myself.

"You know that's not true", he argued. I watched as he clenched his fists in anger. And that little vein popped out on the side of his neck.

"I'm right. You love Brooke and I love Michael", I said quietly. I was also running around the kitchen, doing anything to keep my gaze off of him.

"I don't love her", he whispered.

"Stop saying that", I yelled as I slammed the oven door shut. I watched him flinch.

"Fine. I love her", he said and I swear I thought I was going to throw up.

Before I could even respond he was walking towards me once again. He lifted his hands and cupped my face, holding my full attention.

"But I'm in love with you", he whispered as a small smile played on his lips.

"Peyton", the tiny voice echoed through my old house. I broke our gaze and freed myself from his hands as I turned my full attention to the doorway.

"Lily", I yelled as I scooped her up and into my arms. I love this tiny brunette but right now I love her even more.

* * *

Looking at her from across the dining room table has my heart feeling a bunch of different emotions. I want nothing more then to reach across the table and take her small, delicate hand in mine or play an innocent game of footsie.

It shouldn't be Michael that she's stealing glances at. It shouldn't be him that she leans over to and kisses quickly. It shouldn't be him that gets to hold her hand or cook her dinner. It shouldn't be him that gets to make love to her. That gets to experience that ultimate declaration of love.

It should be me.

I hadn't intended for earlier to play out the way that it did. I wasn't even going to say anything to her. I was going to marry Brooke and have her be with Michael. But my best friend Haley wouldn't have it. Apparently she and Nathan are fed up with this 'dance' we've been doing since we were sixteen.

But I was still going to wait. It was after hearing her talk about _him_ and seeing the look in her eyes when _he_ was brought up, I just couldn't stop myself. Before I knew it we were having an all out scream fest in her kitchen and then she was crying. I can't handle it when any girl cries but when Peyton cries it's even worse. She and I are like one person, the fact that I was causing her all that pain killed me.

Now, watching as Michael lovingly drapes his arm over her chair, or whispers something in her ear, or makes a ridiculous face that causes her to laugh. This all kills me.

"Oh shoot, I have to take this. Sorry everyone", Michael said as his beeper goes off. This is my chance.

"That must happen often", I said as I smugly cross my arms. Peyton glared at me.

"No", she said as she turns her attention to the table cloth.

"Really?" I question doubtfully, "because I would think it did", I know everyone else at the table is watching but right now its only she and I.

"Only this week because he changed his schedule to be with me", she looked at me triumphantly. I took a deep breath.

"Mom do I have to eat the carrots", I can't help but smile at my little sister as she attempts to change the mood.

"Yes", my mother said simply and sternly.

"Awe ma", she said with a pout. Peyton smiled before leaning over.

Peyton and my sister have always had a strong bond. Ever since that day in the hospital in senior year, they've been inseparable. Tonight just proves that. She made sure she was sitting right next to Peyton.

"They're not so bad", Peyton said playfully. I watched as Lily gave Peyton a disbelieving stare.

"If I have some will you have some?" my sister's mouth dropped open. She knows as well as I do that Peyton hates carrots.

"Okay", Lily challenges, smirking because she thinks she's won. Peyton takes a fork full of carrots and stuffs them in her mouth while chewing quickly. I can't help but smile at her lovingly. She truly hates carrots but here she was eating them because my baby sister had to.

"Wow", Lily whispered to nobody in particular. Peyton gave her an expectant glace and she dejectedly put some carrots in her mouth. I continue to watch as they take turns eating the carrots; a smile never leaves Lily's face.

I know that they will always have a bond. It's too strong to ever disappear. Peyton will always be my sister's heroine. Don't get me wrong, she loves Brooke. But whenever Peyton is around she gets a certain look in her face. A certain smile graces her lips. I can't help but think the same thing about me.

The return of Michael breaks me from my thoughts.

"Sorry about that", he apologizes as he sits next to Peyton, "it was Andrew", he says while talking more to Peyton. I watch as her face drops a little.

"What did he say", she asks quietly.

"I have to fly back home tomorrow", he said sadly. You can actually hear how upset he is to have to leave her. Peyton sighs deeply before regaining her composure.

"That's okay", she said with a fake smile, "You do owe him for taking your shifts so I guess this was expected", she tries to joke but fails miserably.

"Well, we still have all night", Michael said while rubbing a small circle on her hand.

"No, tonight was your night to go out with the guys. You go with them and I can see you whenever you get back", she was always the giver. Sacrificing herself for the sake of another's happiness or desires. A feeling of guilt creeps into my system because I once caused that same look to grace her beautiful face.

They stared at each other for a while. Michael went to say something but Peyton gave him a look. I know that look all to well. It's the-you-can-try-to-argue-but-you-won't-win- look. He simply nodded his head and turned his attention back to his plate.

"How about desert", my mother announces and the children happily agree.

* * *

Have you ever felt as if everyone you knew has been lying to you about something? If you can honestly answer no to this question then I admire you and your friends. People would assume that because I'm the "bubbly brunette" I never understand what's going on. They couldn't be more wrong.

Right now they are both in the kitchen. Nobody else has dared to enter. Peyton got up to do the dishes and Lucas followed, claiming that the dishes were one of his favorite chores. That's a lie.

Back in high school part of me knew that there was something between Peyton and Lucas but, when I asked them they both lied. When I asked him if he still had feelings for Peyton and he said no, he lied.

The sad thing is that part of me wishes he would go and be with her. I know that sounds foolish but we both know it would make everyone happier, myself included. I know, I know, good job Brooke. I fought with Peyton over Lucas for nearly two years. We stopped talking because of it. I was childish and only wanted what was best for me at the time. Luckily, Peyton Sawyer has a heart of gold. We got over the whole love triangle faze and found our true loves. Hers was Lucas of course, and mine was Chase Adams.

Chase and I were obviously something that was out of left field. He was a skater kid and I was Brooke Davis. Being with him made me feel like I was so much more then just another pretty face. I miss him. A lot. Seeing him the other day at the café was like opening a door to the past. It also made me realize where my heart really lies, and what Lucas has been feeling for years.

"You ready to go?" Lucas questions.

"Yea, sure", I say as I smile and get up from my seat. My thoughts are still somewhere else. I look down at our entangled hands and my engagement ring catches my eye. I let out a deep breath. That ring represents a lie.

Our walk home is quiet. I know he's thinking about Peyton. If we were still sixteen that knowledge would have pissed me off, now though, I just feel bad for him. The girl he's loved for pretty much his whole life is here and he can't do anything about it because she's with someone else and he's with me. He sneezes and I turn to look at him; our eyes lock and for the first time I can read him.

"I love you", he says halfheartedly. I smile sadly at him.

That's the biggest lie of them all.

* * *

Okay…there's only a few chapters left. I hope I did justice with the Brooke part. You can probably tell where I'm going with her storyline. Leave some reviews! 


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews-I own nothing!

* * *

So remember when I said that Thanksgiving was never significant? Well I take that back, yesterday was definitely one of the most significant days in my short twenty-five years of life. You know the beginning of the story…Lucas and I screaming in my kitchen, our near kiss, Lucas telling me that he's still in love with me. Well, here's the rest.

_Flashback_

"_Everyone go and relax, I'll take care of the dishes", I said as I shooed them from the kitchen. Truth is told I hated doing dishes but I wanted to be away from everyone._

"_Are you sure?" Michael questioned as everyone else walked off._

"_I'm positive", I said as I kissed him quickly. He nodded his head before kissing me again and taking a seat on the couch to watch the football game. I had put the coffee pot on and had taken the ice cream out of the freezer so that it could defrost before I even started the dishes. _

"_You want some help?" I heard a voice question. I stopped in my tracks. The song I was humming was quickly forgotten. _

"_No", I told him curtly. My back was to him; I knew that if I turned around and saw those blue eyes I would be done for._

"_Really?" he questioned. I could feel the smirk on his face. He knew how much I hated doing the dishes. I ignored his question and walked over to the sink, grimacing as I picked up a food filled dish._

"_Let me help. No strings attached", he joked. I had to stop myself from smiling. It was amazing really, the fact that we could go from screaming at each other one minute to nearly kissing the next to now acting as if none of that had ever happened._

"_Fine", I said exasperatedly as I rolled my eyes. He smirked again._

"_You are something else Peyton Sawyer", he said quietly. He instantly took his place at the sink. I smiled at this familiarity. Whenever Lucas and I were together and dishes were involved he would wash and I dried. When we were younger and did dishes in his mother's café we usually ended up covered in soap suds and cleaning up water puddles on the floor._

"_Dinner was great", he said without looking at me. He took cleaning the dishes way too seriously. Making sure every tiny speck was gone._

"_Thanks", I said as I felt myself blush. He didn't even compliment my looks but the thing with Lucas was that he didn't have to. Anything he said to me made me blush. I also noticed the tone he said it in._

"_You said that like you've never had my cooking before", I joked. After the whole chocolate chip cookie incident in senior year I made it my goal to become a better cook. I too classes and bought every possible cook book. It all paid off one night in our freshman year when Lucas told me that I had made the best chicken parmesan he ever had._

"_It's just been a while", he said nostalgically. I bit my lip and concentrated on the dish in my hand. It had been a while. It had been too long actually._

"_Oh it's only been like five years", I tried to joke. I stopped laughing when he put the still dirty dish down and turned to face me. _

"_Four years and seven months", he whispered. I felt my eyes bulge out. He had it counted down to the months? I did too but he was a boy. Then again he wasn't just any boy…he was Lucas Scott._

_I took a deep breath and nodded my head. It was going on eight months pretty soon. _

"_Four years and seven months", I said aloud to nobody in particular. I also didn't dare make eye contact. _

"_There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you", I could feel him moving closer to me. I didn't need this now. Michael was here and so was Brooke._

"_Luke", I pleaded as I turned to face him. I saw Nathan out of the corner of my eye. He was just about to walk in when he noticed the closeness Lucas and I held. Needless to say he scurried off._

"_Peyt", he said pointedly. He knew how that nickname affected me. I shook my head with defiance._

"_I told you we weren't doing this", I whispered harshly._

"_I don't care", he said matter of factly. He looked at me and crossed his arms. He definitely meant business. I looked towards the living room and noticed that everyone was pretty much occupied with their own things._

"_Lucas, we seriously are not-"_

"_I don't care", he cut me off, "I've been doing things your way for a while. Now were going to do things my way", he said as he pointed to himself. We may not have spoken or seen each other in years but he knew I didn't get talked to like that._

"_Who are you to tell me what I'm going to do or not do", I said rebelliously._

"_We have to talk", he said as he walked closer. I was making it a point to keep some sort of distance but that was soon running out. I felt myself hit the wall._

"_I told you that I still love you and you have yet to say any type of response", he had me cornered now. He placed both hands on my shoulders to make sure that I was giving him my full attention. I was beginning to feel dizzy. I couldn't let this happen…_

"_I told you that you didn't mean it. Lucas we have a history. Being around each other and being around places that holds memories of what we were is bound to make you think things", I stated as if I had read it in Reader's Digest. He shook his head and laughed bitterly. Without looking at me he walked out of the kitchen. Another minute later I heard the front door close. I knew he had left. I was pretty sure it was the last time I'd see him._

_End Flashback_

So that was before the real event took place. That's not even the good part yet. That was just like the opening band that plays, you like them and think that they're pretty good but you really wanna see your favorite band. Well, get ready.

_Flashback_

_Right now Michael's out with Nathan, Chase, Jake, and some of the other guys. Lucas might be there but who knows. He's probably home with Brooke. Oh wait their home isn't done yet, they're back in his old room. That's going to supply me with some lovely dreams tonight._

"_Stop it Peyton", I said aloud to myself. I need to not think about Lucas. For at least a minute. I know how pathetic that sounds but it's the truth. Ever since he left, without saying anything, he's all I've thought about._

_He didn't even say anything back. No backhanded answer. He didn't try to make me talk to him about my feelings. No declaration of his undying love. He didn't even try to kiss me! I feel my lip beginning to quiver. I've lost Lucas forever. He didn't put up a fight because he realized I was right. Before I can fully comprehend the thought of never talking to him again I hear my front door slam shut._

"_Michael", I call out uncertainly. Then I reprimanded myself. You're never supposed to call out if you hear a strange noise and you're home alone. I begin to freak out as I hear the footsteps nearing; they're hurried and sound like they have a purpose. The shadow in the doorway has me on the edge of my seat._

"_Lucas, what are you-"_

"_Don't tell me I don't love you Peyton", he yelled as he threw the box on the floor, "For the past…nearly five years that all I've known", he said painfully._

"_Luke", I said quietly. I wanted to do nothing more then jump into his arms and never let go. Our eyes were locked and I could see the pain his held. I couldn't help but wonder if mine looked the same._

"_No Peyton, if you're so sure that I don't feel anything for you then take a look at all of the things in this box. If you're so sure that I only feel this way because we're together now then you don't know me", he turned around and walked away. I felt myself losing the battle I was fighting. I knew that it wasn't because we were together now, it's because he's Lucas Scott and I'm Peyton Sawyer._

_End Flashback_

Needless to say that was his famous 'Peyton Box'. I had heard about it in high school but that was through the mouth of Brooke Davis and it wasn't talked about kindly. Seeing that box and knowing that there were memories in there scared the hell out of me but I took a deep breath and opened it. I needed to know that he really did care.

Two hours, a box of Kleenex, and a carton of ice cream later I had sifted through the box. There was stuff all the way from high school in it. The letter I had written him, drawings I had done, pictures, everything. But that was high school stuff; it didn't prove anything to me…that's when I saw them, all the CD's. To most people they would be insignificant, but I knew why they were in there. They were all under my record label. There were newspaper articles and magazine writings all about me. Most people would have been creeped out by that but this was Lucas telling me that he was sincere. That I didn't have anything to worry about.

* * *

Okay, now that you're all caught up with recent events we can move on to other things. Like the fact that Brooke Davis has been sitting in my kitchen for the past twenty minutes. Not saying anything, simply staring at her cup of coffee. She had knocked and said that we needed to talk. I was expecting her to scream at me about something pertaining to Lucas. So far, she hadn't done a thing.

"So…" I trailed off hoping she would start talking about whatever she wanted to discuss. After another quiet minute she looked up at me.

"I'm not happy", she said bluntly. "For the past few years, I haven't been happy. I mean I've been happy but not _happy_…" she continued to ramble on like this. I honestly had no idea where she was going with this conversation. Then I heard the name Chase. I snapped back into the conversation.

"…so basically, last night Lucas and I were talking and we called off the engagement. I love him but I'm definitely not in love him", she said truthfully.

"Brooke", I stopped her rambles so that I could get some insight, "what does any of this have to do with me?" I questioned as I took our mugs to the sink. I could feel her disbelieving stare.

"You honestly don't know why I just told you all of that?" she asked doubtfully. Before I could even respond she spoke again.

"Peyton, Lucas and I are done. We never should have started, but you live and learn right", she tried to joke. I wasn't in a laughing mood. "Listen to me", she demanded and I gave her my full attention,

"Lucas has been lost for a while and having you here, it's helped him be himself again. We're done, there's not going to be a wedding, there won't be any children, no white picket fences…nothing", she exclaimed with a smile on her face. "Not for me and him at least", she said poignantly.

I took my seat across from her and watched as she covered my hand with hers, "I'm sorry it took us all this long to figure things out", she said with a serious face and tone, "but now that we have things figured out, let's make the best of it all", she nudged me playfully. I let myself get swept up in the moment we were having. She and Lucas were done and from the way she was talking, she was going to try and get Chase back. But the main thing that struck me was that Lucas was single. He had truly made the step to show me that he meant everything he was saying. I was about to speak when my cell phone rang. I froze at that all too familiar ring tone.

"Peyton", Brooke asked me cautiously.

"Michael" I whispered. She instantly tensed up, as if he could hear us talking about my former love.

"I need some air", I said quickly as I stood up and looked for my car keys.

"Peyton, what about Michael", Brooke asked as she motioned to the phone.

"I can see him later, he slept at Nathan and Haley's last night", I answered offhandedly. I rushed out the door before she could talk again.

* * *

Have I mentioned that I hate my car? I mean I love it because it's been my car since high school, there are some pretty amazing memories attached with this car. But it freaking loves to break down. So now I'm sitting here around the bend, right near River Road, waiting for the stupid tow truck to come.

I had gone out for the drive to clear my head. Lucas and Brooke were done, but Michael and I weren't. We didn't even have any severe problems. Besides the fact that I'm in love with Lucas that is. Sarcasm is an old friend of mine.

Back to the topic at hand. Michael has some very high points. Michael makes me happy. He treats me well. He knows all of my favorite things. He has never broken my heart. He gets along well with all of my friends. There's just one thing…

_He's not Lucas._


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews!—I own nothing.

* * *

"_Brooke's great, but she's not you"_

This definitely wasn't a new revelation for me. Peyton Sawyer has and always will be the girl for me. I tried to deny it by going out with other girls and telling my friends and mom that there was nothing between us, but I knew there was.

I told her that in our junior year. I meant it then. Peyton has intrigued me for years. Since before I even knew what it meant to like someone. I can remember being seven years old and watching her walk into the café. She was giggling and skipping. She ran up to the counter and politely ordered chocolate milk with two straws and a plate of cookies. After my mother handed her the order she walked back to her table and excitedly put everything in front of a woman. I would later learn that it was her mother, Anna. That was the only time I saw Peyton and her mother interact. A few months later she passed away. I love having the memory of Peyton with her mother because it was one of the only times, if not the only time, I saw Peyton truly happy. I know that I made her happy but, seeing her that day with her mother…I have yet to see her like that again.

When the shop got the call about a broken down car I decided to take the opportunity. I needed to be alone with all of these thoughts. Brooke and I had officially ended things. We both knew we were holding on to something that wasn't existent. It was okay to try and pretend in high school but now that we were older we knew it was useless. We both love other people.

_Flashback_

_I was still reeling from my trip to Peyton's house when I walked into my old room. I stopped instantly when I saw Brooke sitting on the bed…she had been crying. This was going to be bad._

"_Hey", I said quietly as I kneeled down beside her, "what's the matter", I asked. She looked up at me with big doe eyes and shook her head._

"_We're not happy", she said hoarsely. I wanted to argue with her but I knew I couldn't. She was right, we weren't. Truth is, I don't even know the last time we had been happy._

"_I know", I agreed. Her head shot up instantly. _

"_You do?" she asked. This was obviously something she expected to last all night._

"_Yea", I said assuringly as I placed my hand on her knee._

"_Okay, so what now", she asked as she took a deep breath. I sat there dumbfounded. I hadn't thought about what to do after this. I scratched my head and looked over at her._

"_I guess…we umm…." Thankfully Brooke interrupted my stuttering._

"_We go and be with the people we're supposed to be with", she said quietly. Our eyes locked and we both smiled. It felt weird that Brooke and I were having this conversation. If this was nine years ago, that conversation would have never taken place. And if it did it would have been a screaming match, not this calm exchange of words._

"_Okay, well I've already made attempts to talk to Peyton. In fact right now the balls in her court", I watched as she raised her Brooke Davis brow, "when's the last time you talked to Chase", she turned bright red. I couldn't help but smile. Brooke Davis was embarrassed._

"_I haven't actually talked to him since that day at the café. Actually, that can't even count as a conversation because he simply congratulated me and then walked away", she said sadly._

"_Well, you want his number", I said as I reached for my cell phone. She looked at me and smiled._

_End Flashback_

A broken down car around the bend…right on River Road. I should have seen the flashing lights before I even stepped foot into my truck. Of course fate has a way of sneaking itself into every aspect of my life. I turned the corner and cursed myself. Peyton's classic Mercury was pulled over to the side of the road, she was standing in front of it, completely lost in her own thoughts. I smiled at her outfit. This was all too familiar. She was wearing a vintage tee and one of her mini skirts. I looked at myself before I got out of the truck; a red tee and jeans.

"We've got to stop meeting like this", I called out to her. She spun around and placed a hand over her heart. She really must have been deep in her thoughts. She took the moment to look at me. I knew what she was thinking…this was all too good to be true.

"Tell me about it", she said with a laugh. God I love her laugh. It lights up her entire face. It has been entirely too long since I've seen that. I watch as she gets quiet and tucks a loose curl behind her ear. I've seen Peyton in a million different outfits, with her hair done a million different ways but right now, I can't help but think that she's never looked more beautiful.

"So, what's wrong with it now", I smirked as I walked over to her pride and joy.

"I have no idea. It just started smoking", she said with a pout. I couldn't help but laugh. Without thinking I walked over to her and put a hand on her cheek. She sucked in a breath.

"Now, now, you can't pout when things don't go your way", we both laughed but I held my hand firmly in place. I unconsciously began to stroke my thumb over her delicate skin. She smiled and it felt like time stopped. I slowly leaned in and watched as she closed her eyes. Everything was falling into place. This was our moment.

Until fate stepped in.

* * *

Seeing him in that red t-shirt brought back a lot of different memories. I also couldn't help but notice how good he looked. Lucas has always been good looking but in his slightly dirty jeans and worn out shirt, he looked even better. Realizing that I was staring I quickly spoke.

"Tell me about it", it felt good to laugh like this with him. I have a certain laugh that only Lucas knows about. It's a laugh that I reserve especially for him. I never would have guessed that he was working with the body shop. He didn't even live in Tree Hill anymore.

"So, what's wrong with it now", he asked with a smirk. I didn't even bother to hide my smile. Throughout our relationship, friendly or otherwise, my car had had some problems. But, I couldn't get rid of it…it was my baby and I was too sentimental.

"I don't know" I said as I threw my hands up in the air, "it just started smoking", I added in a pout. Just to look cute. It must have worked because he turned around and walked towards me.

He put his hand on my cheek and I instantly drew in a breath.

"Now, now, you can't pout when things don't go your way", we both laughed and I waited for him to return to the task at hand; my car. When he started to stroke my cheek I knew this was it. Michael or no Michael, Lucas and I were going to get our moment.

I smiled as he lowered his face to mine. Closing my eyes in anticipation I got lost in the moment.

Fate had other plans.

"I should get that", I said dejectedly as I stepped away from him.

"Yea, sure", he mumbled as he put his hands in his pockets. I watched as he walked back over to my car and started to fumble with some type of car part.

"Hello", I sighed into the phone.

"Don't sound too thrilled to talk to me", Michael joked. I wasn't exactly in the mood for laughing but I forced one out. Lucas looked at me; it was obvious that he knew I was faking.

"Sorry", I halfheartedly apologized. My mind was suddenly reeling. Lucas and I had almost kissed. I was going to let it happen even though I have this amazing guy who loves me.

"So, what's going on", I asked as I walk further away from Lucas.

"Nothing really. I just miss you", I smile at the term of endearment. "I'm on my way back to your house, I need to pack and then I'm leaving. Am I gunna get to see you?" I can hear the hope in his voice. I would love to see him before he leaves. I know that if I see him today a) it will reinstate my feelings and b) I won't be hung up on Lucas. I look over at my car and know it won't be possible. Either of them.

"I don't think I can", I frown as I think of his expression, "my car broke down", before I can continue talking he interrupts me.

"Again…Peyton I told you years ago to get rid of that thing", I know he means well but hearing him talk about my car like that gets me really angry. Luckily Nathan's calling on the other line.

"I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow", he knows he hit a nerve with me. I hear him sigh.

"I love you", he says sincerely. My heart breaks a little because for once I can't say it back. I simply switch lines.

"Hey Nate", I greet as cheerily as possible.

"Okay we'll talk about what's wrong in a second. Firstly, why'd you call before", he asks with a sense of urgency. I silently thank the Lord.

"I need a ride home", until I remember that Michael will be there, "actually I need a ride to your house", I said meekly. Before he can answer I speak again, "my car broke down and I can't go home because Michael will be there…" he cuts my rambling off.

"What's going on with you and Michael?"

"Nothing I just, I don't know if…I can't be with him anymore", I finally blurt out.

"Peyton, does this have to do with a certain brother of mine", I can picture that stupid smirk on his face.

"Look I can't talk about it now. We will have a whole car ride to discuss whatever you want to discuss", this was my way of bribing him. I knew he would say yes because he always wanted to have the inside scoop before Haley did. That was something that was difficult to accomplish.

"Well, it's the radiator", Lucas interrupts our conversation. I can hear Nathan snicker.

"How about Lucas drives you to wherever you wanna go", he says mockingly. I roll my eyes at his maturity level.

"Nathan, please don't", before I can even finish I hear a dial tone. He freakin hung up on me. I grunt angrily as I slam my phone shut.

"Lemme guess, he isn't coming", Lucas asks with a smile.

I shake my head. "He hung up on me", we both laughed.

"You want a ride home?" he asks as he nods to the familiar truck. I weigh my options…go with Lucas and possibly make out OR wait here till Nathan decides to come and get me.

He throws an arm around me and I realize I have no choice.

* * *

The ride home was never once silent. This was the most we've talked in years. I loved it. I missed him a lot more then I realized. We were talking about high school when we got to the summer going into senior year.

"Dude, I still can't believe you never knew how to ride a bike", I laughed out loud. His face flushed with embarrassment. He obviously remembered what I was talking about.

"Let's not go there okay", he said through gritted teeth. I couldn't help but continue.

"Oh come on, we're reliving memories", I teased him, "besides it's not that big of a deal", he turned to face me for a moment, "Nathan didn't know how to tie his shoes till he was like nine", I instantly covered my mouth with my hand. We had stopped right outside my house and Lucas turned to fully face me.

"What", he asked with a smirk on his face.

"Nothing", I responded quickly. It was too late though. I'm sure I'll be getting a phone call form Nathan later tonight.

After our laughter subsided I reached for the handle on the door. Lucas's voice stopped me.

"You know", he began as he reached for my arm, "Brooke and I called everything off", I nodded my head. "She's gunna try and get Chase back", again I nodded. Sensing he wanted some type of input I spoke.

"That would be good for her. She needs someone like him. I just hope he can learn to forgive and forget because he may never admit it but he needs her too", I finished quietly. This time he nodded

I waited for him to speak out again when I reached for the handle, when he didn't I felt defeated. It took everything in me not to turn around and look at him. As I reach for my doorknob I hear his car start up as he slowly drives away. I know what he's doing, in his mind it's all up to me. I have to make the choice. That's easier said then done.

* * *

Two days have gone by. I haven't taken any calls from Michael. I haven't even heard from Lucas. I haven't even made a choice yet. Napping seems like a pretty good option right now, maybe sleep will help me figure things out. I also need to pack. Yea that's right, I'm supposed to leave in two days. Go back to New York. Go back to Michael. I really cannot get my head around things lately.

I instantly fell asleep when I laid down on my bed. Recent events had more then taken its toll on me. I had only been asleep for a few minutes when I hear the forced cough of someone who obviously wants me awake. I open one eye and come face to face with Chase.

"Go away", I mumble as I throw a pillow over my head.

"No way", he protests, "we need to talk", he says with nervousness in his voice. I sigh dramatically before sitting up to give him my full attention. He sits there silently for a minute before I give him my, what-the-hell-did-you-want?-look.

"Brooke called me", he says in a rushed breath. This has me intrigued. Maybe if Brooke and Chase can overcome their past I can work up the nerve to end things with Michael.

"What did she say", I help him along with the story.

"She and Luke are done. She asked if I could ever forgive her. I told her I had. She asked if I could ever trust her again and I told her I didn't know. One thing led to another and we started laughing about old times and now we have a date Saturday night", I smile at his instability.

"That's great Chase", I tell him sincerely as I get up and hug him.

"Oh, I'm not going", he mutters into my hair, "What if it's not the same. What if we're just different people now and it doesn't work", I've never seen him like this. I've known Chase for a long time and I have never seen him this nervous about a date.

"But what if it does go well and you both have a great time together", I pointed out, "do you really wanna look back and wonder 'what if'", I asked him quietly. He looks at me and I know what he's going to say.

"Do you wanna think the same things Peyton?"

I lower my head and begin to play with the hem of my shirt.

"No", I said in a tiny voice, "but it's complicated. I have Michael and-"

"Stop using him as an excuse Peyton", he nearly yells at me, "You and I both know that Michael doesn't mean as much to you as you tell everyone. Yes you love him but you are not in love with him."

I wish I could argue with him. I really, really wish I could tell him he was wrong, that Michael was the one for me. But one thing that I could never do was lie to Chase.

"Look I'm sorry but someone needs to let you know all of this. You need to stop running", he says each word slowly so that it fully sinks in. I nod my head and watch as he walks out my bedroom door.

I have a phone call to make.

* * *

Leave some reviews...i know, still no kiss---sorry---it will come trust mee...i just dont want the Lucas.Peyton thing to happen while shes still with someone else...they've been there and done that already 


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the reviews. There's one more chapter after this. It will jump about five years. I own nothing.

* * *

"So wait…you called Michael?" Haley asks with a slight smile. All she's ever wanted was for Lucas and me to get together, and stay together.

"Yea", I respond quietly. I called him yesterday. It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done but at the same time it wasn't all that hard. I know that sounds horrible. I was with him for two years. He had brought up marriage but I always found a way to change the subject. He is a great man and any girl will be lucky to be with him. I'm just not that girl.

"What did he say?" Nathan asks while slightly puffing out his chest. I love his protectiveness. The scary part is that if I tell Nathan Michael was rude, Nathan wouldn't think twice about going to New York.

"He just…" I'm at a loss of words. How do you describe something like that?

_Flashback_

_Calling someone should be easy. Your hands shouldn't shake. You should be able to breathe deeply and calmly. This is the seventh time I've attempted to call him. Finally I take a deep breath and hit the last number to our apartment. _

"_Hello", he speaks into the phone. My eyes start to well up instantly._

"_Hello", he questions again. _

"_Hey", I say quietly._

"_Peyton", I can tell he's smiling, "how are you?" he asks meekly. I know he feels bad for the comment he made the other day._

"_I'm good", I lie. I'm anything but good. He sighs and I know where this conversation is going to go._

"_Peyton, I'm sorry about yesterday", he says sincerely._

"_It's okay", I try to stop him. The last thing he and I need is for him to apologize for a meaningless argument._

"_No, it's not. I know how much that car means to you, I just hate that it breaks down because when you're alone that's not a great situation to be in", I have to bit my lip to suppress the sob that's lurking in my throat. He really cares about me. _

"_It's really okay", I convince him. I take a deep breath. It needs to be done. I can do this._

"_I love you", he interrupts my thoughts. This time I cannot stop the sob that breaks through._

"_What's wrong?" I can hear the panic in his voice._

"_Michael", I begin. Then I stop because I don't really know where to go from there._

"_What's the matter baby", his voice is shaky._

"_I…umm…I can't", I finally spit out. Of course that's not the best explanation for him._

"_You can't what?", before I say anything else he speaks again, "Peyton, talk to me", he begs. We've always been open and honest with each other. That's one of the things I loved about our relationship._

"_I can't be with you anymore", I harshly wipe at the tears that are streaming down my face._

"_What", his voice is so small you wouldn't be able to tell he was a twenty seven year old man._

"_Peyton, what happened?"_

"_Michael, you need someone who can give you all of them", I said dejectedly._

"_I don't want someone else. I want you, Peyton", his voice cracks and my heart breaks a little more._

"_I can't do that", I whisper to him._

"_Is this about Lucas", I can hear the bitterness in his voice. I can also hear the sadness. I stay silent. I've gotten this far but I can't seem to get those words out. He takes my silence as a yes._

"_I'm sorry", I offer sincerely. I knew it sounded lame but, I couldn't think of anything else to say._

"_Peyton don't do this", he begs. I wish I could take it back. I wish I wasn't in love with someone else. I wish I could really stay with Michael._

"_I'm sorry", but I can't._

_We're both silent for what seems like an eternity. I've calmed down a bit. I'm not quite the emotional mess I was five minutes before._

"_Will he make you happy?" Michael asks. _

"_Yes", I answer without hesitation. There's another pause._

"_Then go be happy", he say quietly to me. _

_Before I can say anything to him he hangs up. _

_End Flashback._

"He…understood", I watch as Nathan and Haley nod their heads.

"You need to talk to Lucas", Nathan tells me. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"I know Nathan", I respond condescendingly.

"No, you really need to tell him", this time Haley is the one who speaks.

"What's going on you two", they share a look. Its not any typical look, it's the married person look.

"Shot not", Nathan says as he puts a finger on his nose. I smile at his immaturity.

Haley rolls her eyes before turning to look at me. "He's leaving", she says quickly.

"What do you mean leaving?" I ask hesitantly.

"He's going to L.A.", Nathan answers. They both stay seated, waiting for my response.

"When", I ask in desperation. They simply stare at me and I have my answer.

I look at them both before getting up and leaving the room.

* * *

"You're really leaving", I ask solemnly as I enter his childhood room. I basically ran here, forgetting that I had no car and I didn't want to go back inside Nathan and Haley's because that would have wasted time. He looks up at me and smiles.

"Yup", that's his response. I stand in the same spot waiting for something else. Anything else. He's a freaking writer; he should have some amazing speech ready or at least some other choice of words.

"Lucas you can't go", I say defiantly. He turns to face me. His hands are in his pockets but not in the nervous way.

"Why not", he argues. That's when it hits me. He really doesn't have a speech ready. He's waiting for me to give him a speech.

"Because you just can't", I argue back lamely. He exhales noisily.

"Why not Peyton", he asks more demandingly then before. He slowly begins to walk over to me.

"You hate L.A", I remind him. He smirks as he continues his walk.

"Peyton", he says quietly. We're close enough that if he whispered I could hear him perfectly. "Tell me why I shouldn't go", he practically begs.

"You just don't need to", I whisper back. I see the look in his eyes and I know he's frustrated with me.

"Need", he laughs somewhat bitterly, "You talk about needs. You talk about how Brooke and Chase need each other. Well everyone needs someone or something. That's just the way the world works", he grabs my hand, "What do _you_ need Peyton?" he squeezes my hand. I know he's hoping for the perfect answer. I want to give him that answer.

I bit my lip. I need to put all my Peyton Sawyer insecurities away. My hesitation is too much for him. I can see the hope and anticipation slowly fading away. He lets go of my hand and sighs loudly.

"I'll be seeing ya", I shudder at the nostalgia that phrase holds. He walks out the door and I can't help but feel as if my life is over.

* * *

Going back to Nathan and Haley's definitely wasn't a good idea. I've been here for about twenty minutes and Nathan has not stopped tearing me apart. Haley actually left the room at one point because she couldn't handle it. Thanks Hales.

"How come you didn't say anything?" Nathan doesn't mean to take this tone with me. He just can't help it.

"I'm too scared", my voice is small and I sound helpless. I hate it.

Nathan scoffs. "There is nothing to be scared of Peyton", he takes me by my shoulders, "he has done everything he can to prove that he loves you", this isn't a guilt trip that I need right now.

"I know that okay! I know that he loves me", I yell at Nathan. I know the kids and Haley can hear us but right now I don't care.

"Then what the hell is the problem", he throws his hands up in frustration. I can't answer him. Not now.

"What is it Peyton", he presses further. I can feel my eyes begin to water. I go to leave the room but he gently grabs my arm to stop me.

"What's the problem Sawyer", he asks through semi-gritted teeth. I rip my arm from his grasp. I've completely hit my breaking point.

"Because he's loved me before, and in case you've forgotten it's always ended in heartache", I screamed into his face. I swallow hard to suppress the sob that's in my throat. My shaking voice gave away any hope I had at hiding my feelings.

Nathan's face instantly softens and he pulls me into a hug. I cry despite myself. He soothingly rubs my back and apologizes repeatedly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry", I know he's silently berating himself. I also know that Haley is going to give him a mouthful later.

"Its okay", I mumble as we break apart. His shirt is stained with my tears and my eyes hurt from crying.

"No its not. I shouldn't have pushed the issue. You're right. It's always ended badly but that's when you guys were younger. I figured now you'd be able to handle things differently", he finishes with a shrug of his shoulders. He's right. We should be able to handle things differently. Well, I should anyway.

Before we can discuss this any further Haley walks back in with James and Matthew.

"Hey guys", I instantly smile and take a seat on the couch.

"Hey Aunt Peyton", James says as he walks over and gives me a hug.

Matthew climbs onto my lap and I unconsciously ruffle his hair. He laughs before pushing my hand away.

"It's okay Aunt Peyton", he says sympathetically. I smile at him.

"Thanks Matt", I say as I lean down and hug him.

"But my dad's right", I look over at Nathan and see his smirk. I roll my eyes at him before turning my attention to my godson.

"Uncle Luke loves you. I promise", with a firm nod of his head he jumps off of my lap and runs into his play room.

"Can I borrow your car", I ask them quickly.

"Yea sure", Nathan says with confusion in his voice. He tosses me the keys and I'm out the door.

* * *

**The Broken clock is a comfort  
It helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow  
From steeling all my time  
And I am here still waiting  
Though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best  
Like you've already figured out**

Flight 242. This is the only thing running through my mind. Gate 7.

**I'm falling apart  
I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart  
That's still beating  
In the pain  
There is healing  
In your name  
I find meaning  
So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on)  
I'm barely holding on to you**

I hope she comes. I need her to come. She was right before. I hate L.A.

**The broken locks were a warning  
You got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded  
I'm an open book instead  
And I still see your reflection  
Inside of my eyes  
That are looking for purpose  
They're still looking for life**

I stop when I reach my destination.

"Gate seven", I whispered to myself.

**I'm falling apart  
I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart  
That's still breating  
In the pain (In the pain)  
Is there healing  
In your name  
I find meaning  
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin on)(I'm holdin on)  
(I'm still holdin on) (I'm holdin on)  
I'm barely holding on to you**

Just as I'm about to hand the attendant my ticket something stops me. I take one last look around the airport. Just because I needed to. That's when I saw her.

**I'm hanging on another day  
Just to see what, you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say  
You said that I will, will be okay  
The broken light on the freeway  
Left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now  
But I haven't forgotten my way home**

We lock eyes and I can't breath. His blue eyes have a hold on me like nothing else. He instantly drops his bags and walks in my direction.

**I'm falling apart  
I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart  
That's still beating  
In the pain (In the pain)  
There is healing  
In your name (In your name)  
I find meaning  
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin')(I'm holdin' on)(I'm still holdin') (I'm holdin' on) (I'm still holdin')  
Barely holding on to you (I'm still holdin on)  
Barely holdin on to you**

"I need you", I whispered as we finally got closer. I can feel my eyes begin to burn and I know that this time it's for real. Michael can never compare to what I feel for Lucas. He smiles at me and he puts one hand on my waist while the other caresses my cheek. I instantly throw my arms around his neck and he closes the gap between us by putting both hands firmly around my waist. He leans down and I know for sure that this will be our moment.

His lips being on mine feel so familiar.

* * *

Remember when I told you about the only time I've ever seen her truly happy? Well as our kiss ends and we look at each other I notice something…

There's that smile again.

* * *

okay...i hope i did that justice. i love lifehouse and i love that song so i wanted to put it in there, i hope it went well with everything. dont forget to review! 


	10. Chapter 10

I own nothing. Thanks for the reviews. I hope you guys like this last chapter.

* * *

Five years is a pretty long time. A lot can happen. Trust me, I know. In the past five years I've gotten married, had children, moved into a new house, and established old friendships.

A new house. I hadn't wanted one. I was actually completely against it; I saw nothing wrong with the house I grew up in. My husband did. Apparently it was too small for the children we would one day have. It was too far from Nathan and Haley. There were some other reasons that were mentioned but they only caused fights and ridiculous amounts of yelling. I finally agreed and we moved here. It's a beautiful house. It has a wrap around porch, wooden floors, and amazing staircases. It doesn't even feel like we live in Tree Hill. It's also down the block from Nathan and Haley. And perfect walking distance to the Rivercourt.

"Ellie…Anna, we have to go girls", I yell from the bottom of the stairs.

I sigh as I pace the hallway…again. The heel of my shoe gets caught in the small hole in the floorboard and its enough to send towards the floor. As I'm silently cursing the damn wooden floors I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist. A task that is more difficult these days.

"Where are you going Blondie", he asked with a smirk although you can hear the panic in his voice.

I smile and place my hands over his.

"Nowhere now", I whispered before leaning the back of my head onto his chest. I let out a breath and he brought his lips down to my neck. I shiver as I feel his breath on my neck. I squirm a little when I feel the stubble on his check.

"I thought I asked you to shave", I reprimanded him. He looks at me guiltily.

"Do I have too", he whines. I have to bit my lip to stop from laughing.

"Yes. You cannot go to this wedding with a five o'clock shadow", he looks at me before leaning in for a kiss.

"Oh no", I say before I step away form him, "no kisses until that scruff is gone", he looks at me with wide eyes and I giggle before he gently catches my waist and pulls me closer to him.

"Kiss me", he says simply. I shake my head playfully. He cups my face with he hands and speaks again.

"Kiss me", I see his smirk forming and I'm done for. I roll my eyes and sigh dramatically.

"Fine", I say. He laughs and I stand on my tip toes to capture his lips. He tilts my head and tries to deepen the kiss but I pull away. Disappointment is painted on his face.

"Go shave", I demand as I push him in the direction of the stairs.

"You're killing me Peyton Sawyer", I laugh as I hear the water run and the bathroom door close.

"Elizabeth and Anna, we have to get going", I yell once more.

Children. I knew I always wanted kids. There were times in my life that made me question that though. Finding out I was adopted was a big one; it made me think that maybe I wouldn't have a connection with my children because Ellie didn't have one with me. Then I began to think that they were too much work. Jake had the responsibility of a thirty year old when he was only seventeen. But looking back now it wasn't that I didn't want children, it was a matter of finding the right person to want to have kids with.

"Here we are mommy", Anna yells as she walks down the stairs, her older sister is tightly holding her hand.

Whatever annoyance I felt before is quickly gone. "Well don't you girls look pretty", I gush as they walk over to me.

"Thanks mom", they both reply shyly. I rush to put them in their jackets. And make sure I have everything they might need for the next few hours.

"Come on dad", Ellie yells from her place at the front door. I smile, 'That's my girl', I think to myself. Another minute goes by and Anna couldn't help but yell for her father also.

Elizabeth is four years old. I swear the only way you know she's mine is by her curls. Everything else she gets from her father. Her love of books and basketball, and of course those famous eyes. Anna is three; she's got my crazy, curly hair, love of drawing, and spunky personality. But, she's got her fathers eyes

"Alright, alright", he waves his hand as he walks down. The three of us sigh and I mutter 'finally' as I reach for the doorknob, their father stops us.

"Wait, where is my family?" he asks feigning curiosity. Anna giggles and Ellie smirks.

"We're right here daddy", Anna says accompanied with a 'duh' look.

"No way. You two are way tooo beautiful to be my little girls", he is now kneeling down to their level.

"Really dad it's us", Ellie insists, "look", she says as she points to her elbow and shows him the scar she got from playing basketball with Thomas, Nathan and Haley's four year old boy.

Lucas drops his mouth in surprise. "Well it is you", he looks back and forth between the two of them, "you both look beautiful", he says affectionately as he kisses the tip of their noses. I smile at their interaction. This was definitely the right person to have children with.

"Ready to go", I ask and watch the girls run out to the car.

"Be careful", I yell out and they instantly slow their pace. I go to walk out the door but am quickly pulled back.

"Luke, we ha-", he silences me with a kiss. Within seconds his tongue is begging for access that I quickly grant. We stand there a while, our tongue slowly dancing, getting lost in this moment. I moan softly and begin to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He pulls away suddenly.

"We're gunna be late", he mocks me as he catches his breath. With a quick smile he's out the door.

"You are so going to pay for that later", I threaten him as I follow him to the car. He walks to my side to open the door for me.

"Promise", he says huskily with a sly grin. I simply look at him and smirk.

As we begin our trip to the Church I sigh contently. He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. Our fingers stay interlocked the entire ride. This is what married life is all about.

Marriage. That's a topic that I would have avoided when I was younger. I feared letting anyone in…but you already know that. So, this guy, right here to my left, he never let me be closed off again. We had a whirlwind month together and then we were married. I know you're thinking that it was really quick but if you ask our friends and family it couldn't have taken any longer. After that everything just fell into place. We got the house, shortly after we found out I was pregnant, his career soared even higher then before, and I opened my own gallery.

Now that's not to say that our time together was always peachy. We would fight, names were said, people were brought up, and past events were thrown in the others face. But we made it past all of that. It took us too long to get where we were, we weren't going to let petty arguments and stupid name calling break that up.

"I cannot believe how many people are here", he whispered as we finally entered the Church. I grab his hand and smirk.

"Well…she always did love a wedding", he looks at me and smiles before we head in separate directions.

* * *

I am fully exhausted by the time the reception come. My feet are swollen and my back is killing me. Between having to stand up there the entire time, making speeches, and taking all those damn pictures, all I want to do is go to sleep. Being the Maid of Honor is a lot more work then I ever thought.

My eyes roam the room and I can't help but smile as I watch Nathan dance with Anna. He's got her safely in his arms and sways to the music. Every once in a while he'll make a funny face and she'll laugh hysterically. They have yet to have a little girl so Nathan has more a less taken ours over. He knows every Disney Princess by heart and he has perfected a French braid. Hopefully he'll be able to put those hobbies to use in a few months; Haley's about six months along.

Ellie is dancing with her older cousin James. I still cannot believe he's twelve years old. Basketball is still his favorite sport; he hopes he can go into the NBA one day. Matt is on stage, intensely watching every move Jake makes with his guitar. He loves the guitar; he just recently turned nine and has begged Haley to get in touch with Chris. Yes, Chris Keller. Lily and Thomas are dancing close to James and Ellie. She's so much like Keith. Her dark brown hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail. Her blue eyes shining brightly. Thomas is simply adorable, he was the ring bearer and his little tux is slightly wrinkled from running around with Ellie, who was the flower girl. Finally my eyes land on the newlyweds. They have come a long way since high school. They had a lot of trust issues but now I'm sure they will make it through anything. I'm just glad they finally figured it all out. The bride and I lock eyes and we both smile. She was my best friend…and we're I'm confident that we can call each other that again. Of course Nathan is still my best guy friend.

When I said I established old friendships I was talking about Brooke. You all know the history we have but we've been working on putting that aside. At first it was awkward. But slowly that melted away. She helped me get over some fears I had and I helped push her to Chase. There were times when we would fight. Like really fight, we wouldn't talk for days and we would tell our significant others horrible stories about the other. We of course got over those stupid arguments and we're stronger then ever. She's Ellie's godmother and I'm her Maid of Honor. We've come full circle since high school.

"Can I have this dance?" he breaks me from my thoughts. I turn to face him and instantly smile, even after nearly five years of marriage it still feels like we're newlyweds.

"Of course", I say brightly and he helps me to my feet.

We walk to the dance floor and take our positions. My arms wrap around his neck and his hands are around my waist. We're as close as my expanding stomach will allow.

Yes, I'm pregnant again. I've got about three months to go. Ellie and Anna are thrilled; they cannot wait to have a younger sibling in the house. Lucas and I decided not to find out the sex. He says he doesn't care either way as long as it's healthy. I know he's secretly hoping for a boy though.

"Have I told you how amazing you look?" he asks while looking down at my dress. Given the season, it's a dark brown strapless dress. I actually love it.

"Not recently", I tease him. He throws his head back and lets out a chuckle.

"Well, you do. Tonight, tomorrow, fifty years from now…you'll look amazing", damn that Scott charm.

"Isn't it weird that Brooke's getting married this weekend", I watch him furrow his brows and know that he has no idea, "this weekend is very symbolic for us four", he slowly starts to understand. Its Thanksgiving weekend; this very weekend five years ago we realized where our hearts lie.

"That it is", he agrees while nodding his head. He swoops down and captures my lips. We both smile and I feel like I've never been happier. We continue to dance, he slowly rubs circles on my lower back and I caressed his newly shaven cheek with my hand. That's when it happened, for the first time. The little life inside of me makes itself known.

"Did you feel that", I ask with wide eyes. He smiles at me and I have my answer.

"He shot a three pointer", he leans down and whispers to me. I nod and placed my head on his shoulder. I quietly hum along to the song that's playing until he breaks me from my musings.

"_I'm gunna love you forever Peyton Scott"_


End file.
